more on connections.

I’ve been friends with this girl for maybe 3-4 years now.  Our relationship is strictly internet based.  Regardless, over the years our connection has just strengthened more and more.  I’d like to say our hearts are connected and she’s someone that I will fight to hold on to.

So strange that we went to the same high school.  She is only 2 years younger than me.  We know a lot of the same people, but our paths have never crossed.

She told me that she wishes she had met me long ago, but then thinks that the timing for us to have built our relationship is perfect.  I couldnt agree more.

She mentioned that to her, it’s nice to meet someone in your 20s, or grow close to someone in your 20s. It’s much different than when you grow close to someone as a kid.  You’re more appreciative of people and what they bring into your life.

On point.

I think you’re definitely more aware of… everything.  All the complexities of the relationship, and how it makes your life better.

It’s not like when you make/have friends in high school. Seeing them every day kind of pushes you to connect, or rekindle, or apologize.

As an adult, you build intimate relationships purely out of desire.

Circumstances dont quite push you to become friends the way it does as a kid.  You need to cultivate it yourself.  It’s like a garden.

Sometimes you have these seeds, though… You wonder when you should plant them.  If you should plant them or throw them away.  Is the weather right?  Will conditions cause this flower to die or flourish?

My friend said that she uses that metaphor often.. the garden.  It best expresses how she feels about it.  “I just want to grow beautiful flowers.  Even if it’s just one or two.”

I feel exactly the same way.

I feel like I’m fortunate enough to have a beautiful flourishing garden though. Although I make mistakes and don’t always know what I’m doing, I have worked very hard on mine for many years.

My relationships are the most important things in the world to me. They are my greatest treasures.

palm reading

Ive been told to take these with a grain of salt.  Reading it makes me so hopeful though.

non dominant

there is huge breaks in the beginning of your life. things will level out at about age 25 and be consistent and strong there after, until about 70-75,where you will gain 2 very special angels in your life. could be either spiritual angels; or the birth of grandchildren.
there will be a lot of small children in your later life either, you will have more children in your later years or your children will have a lot of kids young
your quality of life will increase relatively soon in all aspects of your life
including your sex drive (lol) but that does not mean you will have a lot of children in a short amount of time.
you will go through several mental changes, awakening, gain a lot of knowledge, new knowledge, that will change your way of thinking
VERY VERY VERYYY often in the first half of your life
like several times a year
though u continue to do that later on in life
it will only occur every so often
you will educate yourself throughout your entire life
and at the end, you will learn a lot from those around you
you will have stong memory and concentration soon
and it will aid you in learning skills
new skills
your level of intelligence will grow steadily throughout your life
but
it will reach an incline
after 50
like WAY UP
guru or teacher
someone who teaches or guides other people
it wil be a big part of your life
when you beocme middle aged
you will grow super strong relationships out of this
tht will last for years
your heart will grow stronger as you grow older
surprisingly enough
you will not
go throough really painful heartache
until youre older
but you still have some bumps in the road
small ones
less painful as u get older
but you will face some painful loss
later on in life
and something really painful at the very end your heart will be broken probably from having to leave the ones you love
when you pass away
your children, husband ect
but you will have a long life
and not a traumatic death
the world will miss you a lot
people will havea hard time adjusting when you are gone
now
fate
this can change with the decisions you make
and when i see your other hand
i can have a general idea how much you challenge fate
your fate is not strong
which is a good thing
life molds you
in several directions
depending upon how you decide to live your life
you adapt well
you do not have a problem with change
you are very flexible
and can turn your life around with little effort
your life is definitely what u make it
when it comes to fate, you’re a blank canvas you can do anything
dominant hand

this is really interesting
the decisions you are making are really clearing a road for you
you know exactly where you are going
what your purpose is
or what you want your purpose to be
you only stray off your path a few times
but they are necessary strays
you learn from them
a lot
it makes your journey more vauable and purposeful
because u strayed
your choices are made based upon what you feel in your heart
and you’ve done that since birth
sometimes you are confused
but you always listen to your heart
about half way through
you struggle
with what is right
and what is effective
ethical dilemmas will be a part of your life
you will steer away from fate in your 40s and 50s
possibly have 2 very strong passions
one is connected to your mind
the other your heart
children? family?
and career
the other
your heart wins though
even though your heart wins
you still hold true to your goals
they just falls slightly lower than your family
both make your life fulfilling
you need your personal life
who you are as an individual
you keep that with you
it will be strong until you die
but because of this
the people in your life cherish you
as for your intelligence
it only grows stronger
there is a level of fate to it
you are meant to be highly educated
and you feed that until the very end
it is very dominent
i think your highly educated self will be very important in this world
you will teach other in a big way
i dont really know what or how
but i dont think it is a matter of
teaching
what is bigger than teaching?
leading
youll be leading something
something very big and important

The ocean…

I could definitely use some help in understanding when to let go. When to let in.. When to let go permanently?
I feel like I might love too much
[Or if I cant pull back… Or out]

I wonder if psychology can really explain this, psychology is completely scientific.
I think ‘connection’ has some mysticism to it.
Sometimes I think some people just have some reason to be and stay connected.

Something spiritual.

Something like fate.

It could just be wishful thinking though.

But, aren’t we all connected somehow?

I think of everyone who comes in and out of my life, whether I pull them in and out, or they go in and out on their own… Like an ocean.
And maybe you cant really say ‘no’.

You cant stop a wave. It just is. You just learn to brace yourself and go with the flow, hopefully getting better and better each time.

[but what if the relationship is dangerous or you’re at risk?]
You don’t have to open your mouth and let a wave drown you, just like you always have control of how much you let someone in.

Pick and choose the waves you skip and the ones you surf.

[gotta be smarter about those waves]
Those 10 foot waves are scary, but are normally the most exhilarating ones to surf. They can drown you, maybe even kill you.

You never really know if you’ll lose your footing… Fall off your board.

[Keep adjusting your footing along the way, with hopes you’ll reach the shore]

qualities?

The other day I was thinking of the things we value in other people, in ourselves.

Just wondering, what do you value more in another person?  in yourself?  If you had to choose one or the other, would it be devotion or intellect?

no one ever really replies to my posts, ha.  Hope to hear something though!

Gamers solve decade old HIV puzzle in 10 days

Gamers solve decade old HIV puzzle in 10 days

Sorry I’ve not posted for so long.  My husband came back from AIT training last month and I’ve been so busy packing up, visiting friends and relatives and moving that I just didnt have time.  So I’ll leave you with this link to start.

Next time somebody tells you you’re wasting time playing a video game, you can always show them this article and tell them you’re helping saving the world.

This mornings thoughts.

Yesterday I had a baby free night, so I decided to have a few drinks at a friends friends house.  We got onto the topic of how we as humans are unnatural.  I tried to argue that we cant be unnatural, because we’re here.  A lot of our views were parallel, but I didn’t really get a word in edgewise.  I just listened.

They brought up how we arent even eating REAL food anymore. 

Everything that pulls us away fro our natural state can always be reversed.  We can plant our own food, we can plant more trees to help reduce the carbon in the atmosphere.  The people at the bottom can top slaving away, and the entire system would collapse.

One of the girls said that amidst chaos, there is peace. 
The other brought up argument against it.

I think that when we get back to our primal instincts and live like the animals we are, we would probably get back in touch with the love we’ve long since buried, since we have been nurtured to focus on our differences, and other petty shit that divides us.

We aren’t supposed to be living like this.